Don't call it a comeback

"I been here for years
Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon
Listen to the bass go BOOM
Explosion, overpowerin
Over the competition, I'm towerin
Wreckin shop, when I drop these lyrics that'll make you call the cops
Don't you dare stare, you betta move
Don't ever compare
Me to the rest that'll all get sliced and diced
Competition's payin the price"

This is what my garden would be saying to you if my garden rapped. Also, that one line would probably be "when i drop the tomatoes that'll make you call the cops", since a garden doesn't really have lyrics or anything. i mean, duh!

we are not out of the woods yet. but we have been getting some actual sunshine and actual heat. we are getting the afternoon thunderstorms on a daily basis too (thank god cos the swamp cooler is being fritzy and mama needs a cool down here and there) but we haven't had hail in a few days now and the plants are thrilled at the break.

Biggest surprise so far has been the swiss chard. you may remember that i overwatered it. and then mother nature pissed all over it for weeks. well lookey here!:

This may look like a lot of peas, but i can eat a day's harvest before i even make it out of the garden. in fact, Neil accuses me of "eating all of the peas" every day when he gets home. it goes like this..."hey babe. how was your day? did you eat all of the peas?" just because i CAN eat of the peas, does not mean i actually DO eat all of the peas. sheesh, husband.


here is our first Lemon Cucumber flower. I was about to give up all cucumber hope entirely. Me of little faith.

We harvested a couple of yellow squash for dinner the other night. 2 down, 974 to go. and we also have a zucchini growing as well. i will rethink this next year, after i have enough gardening confidence to not have to rely on the easy squashy stuff.


Here are our recovering sunflowers, lettuce, and strawberry patch. i know it looks as though we are insanely patriotic and funloving, but the pinwheels are to scare birds away from the lettuce and strawberries. unfortunately, nothing scares squirrels. More on this later.


I noticed something pretty interesting today. I purchased my 5 tomato plants in two different sizes....and two different prices. The larger plants were quite a few bucks more than the littles, but it seems to be evening out quite a bit now. Here is a cheapyteensy Mortgage Lifter, a cheapyteensy Cherokee Purple, and a priceybigsy Big Beef.

And dudes, this is what it is all about. all of it. here:


So Moose. I love this dog. Like it hurts me sometimes. How can any animal be this sweet? Kids sense it in him. Last week we went to a kickball birthday party for adults. There were kids there, too. and Moose. Two little girls were fighting over who could hold what part of Moose's leash and who Moose liked more. um, excuse me girls. he likes me the most and i think i'll hold the leash, thank you very much. um, anyways....you get my point. he's just too nice, that Moose. He clearly did not learn that from us.


Look closer....



okay, i will look closer for you....


I thought this thing was going to jump on my face like something from the movie Alien. Moose just thought he was nice to look at. Moose didn't even get up into a sitting position. He lied there while the squirrel chirped "i'll eat your eyeballs, bith!" at me. seriously. Needless to say, the squirrels have made it so that we have not been able to eat any of the strawberries that have ripened. i see them get pink, and then they are gone. or half eaten. those are my favorites...the half eaten ones. thanks for mocking me, king of all rodents. now get off of my house. or maybe i'll just go back inside for a while....

june twelfth, two thousand and nine

so yeah....rain rain go away and all that crap. and then the hail came.


these guys used to be proud sunflowers.
oh, and here is what used to be my lettuce patch.


all we can do at this point is eat cinnamon toast. sad.

effed up foot

I hurt my foot. I believe it to be planter fasciitis. it sucks. i am supposed to be resting and elevating and icing. i am really good at doing all of these things for a few days and then i blow it and have a bbq and drink beer and chase our friends new puppy around our yard all day. as if you would do differently when presented with beer, friends, and a puppy. come on!

So since i am trapped on the couch, bored out of my noggin, i thought i would give you a pictorial garden tour. Come along, will you?

Wait, first i must announce/remind you that we have lived in Denver for a year now! Last year at this time, Denver was knee deep in a very ass kicking heat wave. and everyone kept telling me that during the summer, thunder storms roll in during the afternoon and cool us down. there were no storms. there was no swamp cooler. It was dry and brown and we had to go to the pool a lot.

Flash to this year. we had a late spring and we are having an even later a summer. And the storms are here. thunder, lightning, hard fat rain, and hail. I take hail personally, like god is throwing rocks at my garden. This is from two days ago:


So here is how the garden looks on approach. You can see a lot more green than before, huh? well check it from inside, dudefriends!

the first sign of yellow squash:

chives that are about to flower. i love chives. why did i not know that for so long?


all of the sweet allysum seeds that i started inside croaked. in a desperate attempt to not waste the $1.49 i spent on the seeds, i sprinkled them at the borders of some of the planters. low and behold, sweet allysum is the cat of flowers. ignore it and it is your bff. give it some lovens and you will only come to be disapointed.

if i were to smell like anything on the planet, i think i would choose to smell like fresh basil.
the strawberries are throwing out runners. they are going for it. so are the sunflowers that i planted behind them. i think that if you have kids and you have sunshine, you should be obligated to plant sunflowers for your kids. they grow like an inch a day and at the end of the summer, you have snacks! what kid doesn't love snacks?


the lettuce patch is a bit conflicted. or maybe the fact that Jules keeps napping on it is the problem. i don't know. parts are good and parts are not so good. we are sooooo close to being able to start harvesting but i don't want to push it.

and for the surprise front runners......brussels sprouts! I love the b sprouts....always have. i believe mom tricked me into trying them by calling them "baby cabbages" and it worked. oddly enough, i never really ate cabbages as a kid so i don't really get how that would appeal to me. moms are tricksy.

i have found that i am really annoying. wow, way to set y'all up for some easy heckling opportunities, right? i should disable the comments section. anyways, i have been doing this thing where i need to remind people i am from california via food items. i realized i was out of control when i made a salad for friends and i put jicama in it. the b sprouts are all about that plan. none of our friends here are fans of the sprouts but i am going to cook them and i am going to cook them incredibly awesome-ish and they will be loved. they have to be because we have 9 plants and no one likes brussels sprouts 9 plants worth. not even if neil started calling them baby cabbages. i must share.


Carrot/scallion town is booming. i have thinned the carrots. i can't wait for these guys because it is a mix of orange, yellow, white, and purple carrots. i don't know if the guinea pigs are going to appreciate their new gourmet snackins but nothing is too good for Simon and Walter. They are from california, too...so they may appreciate the fanceys.

peas:


a little friend on a zucchini leaf. you can see how the hail does a bit of damage here:


have we talked about borage yet? it has the most beautiful flowers, bad bugs hate it, and bees think it is their knees....get it? bees knees? i am funny. seriously this foot injury thing is mind numbingly boring. i need out. i need to go ride bikes or something. anything.
nasturtium from seed. can't wait for this one to flower. edible flowers that bad bugs hate.

my eggplant isn't doing too great, nor is it not doing well. but it does show just how much dirt the rain and hail kick back up on the plants.

and here it is.....my heaven....tomatoes, basil, chives, marigolds, tarragon, and some cilantro is in there somewhere as well:

We hung a birdfeeder right outside our kitchen window. i love it. as do the birds.

We have hippy heighbors. well, i suppose they are retired hippies, at this point. they have prayer flags and a sign in their window that says "friends for peace". i love them. a few weeks ago, i had to knock on their door and ask for weed vs. flower identification assistance. Neil, Alice and i had a great time in the front yard, noting that any plant that is growing where you don't want it to grow is a weed. period. Alice did however warn us that some of these potential weeds may flower soon, so we spared a few......look!

i am glad i didn't just hack everything down.

Alice also told us about when she first bought her house, 20 something years ago. she had been renting for a few years and finally was able to buy her house for herself. she had a housewarming party and since she was finally able to garden, she asked her friends just to bring something for her to plant. a friend of hers who didn't have much money showed up with a handful of violas, clearly dug up from her garden at home. Alice planted them and every year there are more volunteer violas all over her property. here are some that have snuck on over to our side of the property line:


And just because......



So, i have some errands to run but i swear i will totally stay off of my foot for the rest of the day! wait, after i check to see if there are any tomatoes and the veggies may need a watering and i am sure the dogs would like a little walk and......

it's spring, bitches!

I think i wrote about Spring before but i was lying back then. sorry about that. before i was using the calendar to make my determination. now i have actual evidence in my yard. being the detective that i am, you would think that i would have relied upon the evidence at the get go. i must have been having an off day.

we have a huge bush that we have been told is lilac. mom loved lilacs. they reminded her of new jersey. lilacs don't really grow in the bay area. but they are sold at your local flower shops right around mother's day, so i used to always get her a big sprig that would make the house smell way better than what puppies would make it smell.
evidence:
We planted Tomato Alley today. i am supposed to wait until after mother's day to plant but i have never been famous for my patience. Mom's lilacs are my tomatoes. i absolutely hated that i couldn't grow tomatoes in SF.....especially after all of my fond memories of stripping my mom's tomato plants bare as a child. i'd sneak outside and gorge myself on them.

Neil built bamboo tipis to support my five little friends. they are Big Beef, Celebrity, Super Fantastic, Cherokee Purple, and Mortgage Lifter.

I am truly obsessed with my garden. i have been reading up on companion planting. tomatoes love to be planted with basil. that makes enough sense. it's like they understand that they are fated to end up in my mouth together anyways, so they just accept it....appreciate it, even. but strawberries and thyme? that is what they say so i am giving it a try. (in my garden. not in my mouth)


and my seeds are doing really well, too. upon reading this here blog, neil took his plant favoritism to a grand new level. not only was he saying hi to the basil, he took to swearing at the marigolds. "hey basil! fuck you, marigolds!". that's my husband. i am happy to announce that neil had zero impact on the marigolds.
and the beloved basil:
peas!
my scallion forest:
in all, we have planted two lettuces, beets, strawberries, thyme, 4 kinds of peppers (orange and purple bell, ancho, and jalapeno), tomatoes, tarragon, basil, oregano, thyme, cilantro, eggplant, rosemary, squash, radishes, scallions, swiss chard, lemon cucumbers (another childhood fave), brussels sprouts, carrots, peas, and watermelons. dill and mint in containers, catnip, and various veggie garden loving flowers. i likey. expect more updates. pics. ramblings. insanity.

have you met Jules? He's the OG. Got him when i lived in Seattle approximately 13 years ago. He is named after Samuel L Jackson's character in Pulp Fiction because the movie came out the same week that i got him. anyways, he is old. He sits on the deck in the sun all day. he torments moose and he is very handsome. he follows me around the yard and likes to chill in my garden with me, as well. smart kitkat, that Jules.
Miss Neil's mug? here you go:
i think he is prying open an electrical box with some kind of metal implement.

and the dogs are just happy to have their lawn back.
the green is beautiful. you appreciate it so much more when it goes away for a few months. looks like we've got nothing but the 70's coming up. niiiiiiiice.


feel free to subit name suggestions for the tomato plants in the comments section. if you don't offer me better suggestions, they will all be named after characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. i am totally not kidding.

It's exciting to be Polish.

And, if you are me, it is exciting to stuff food items with other food items. This combination of exciting things obviously dictates a golobki feast! Golobki is stuffed cabbage rolls. It is Polish food. It is good. There are gazillions of different stuffed cabbage rolls from all over the world, but this is the one my mom occasionally made me when i was growing up.

i would like to add some unsolicited advice here about regional foods, connecting with your ancestry, and advanced chefery in general. it's complicated so bear with me.

salt your effing food, people.

My family has a "traditional" Polish feast every year on Christmas eve. It is called Wigilia. If it were to be your first Polish food experience, you may never go back for seconds because for some reason, my family hates salt. Luckily, similar to your common "kids table" at Thanksgiving, the 707 Nelsons and Team Martinola created a "salt lovers table". and that is how i know that Polish food is actually quite tasty.

Back to Golobki. it is cabbage stuffed with rice, ground beef and pork, and baked in a tomato/beef broth. it sounds so unbelievably bland, right? it is not.

so i have two Polish cookbooks that were Ma's. one has a picture of Golobki on the cover and the recipe mom used. The other has no golobki recipe but it does have at least 7 recipes for various meat items suspended in gelatin. why do i not throw the pickled herring infested book away?


First! Boil some water. salt it. cut out the core of a head of cabbage and plop it into the boiling water.

in a matter of minutes, the outer leaves will start to seperate from the head. remove them and place them on a paper towel to drain and cool.

Normally, your meat mixture would be a pound of ground beef and a pound of ground pork, a cup of cooked white rice, and one sauteed onion. but i am from Mill Valley so my mixture is this: One zucchini, grated, 1 cup of minced mushroom, 1 cup of brown uncooked rice (why waste time cooking rice that you are going to cook again? is that the root of all of those Polish jokes?) and i also added 3 minced garlic cloves to the last 30 seconds of my onion saute. AND SALT.

your cabbage leaves should be cool by now. if the rib is so thick on your leaf that it can't lie flat, take a pairing knike and shave off some of the rib. lie your cabbage leaf flat and fill with enough filling that you can just make a little burrito out of it. obviously, the outer leaves will hold more filling than the inner.

here they are all lined up, waiting for the next step.
butter! the recipe calls for 3 Tbsp of butter to saute the rolls in, but i used half butter have olive oil because i am also Italian. saute seam side down til slightly brown and flip to do the same to the other side. this really makes each little love loaf its own little secure entity. it gives the golobki the confidence to stand up to the rest of the cooking process.
place in baking dish seam side down. poor beef broth to almost cover the rolls. you will need a lot because the rice will soak it up. Get a whole box of broth and plan on using the whole thing. on the side, take 1/2 Cup of beef broth and mix with 4 ounces of tomato paste. blop that mixture over the top of the rolls. cover with tin foil and bake at 325 for as long as you can without burning your dinner. i would say an hour, at least. but the longer everything hangs out together, the better it will taste.
ugly on the outside.
ugly on the inside, too.
but delicious all around. I know that it may seem weird to you to not actually use any beef meat but still use beef broth. i don't like beef. but i do like beef broth. i wish someone would make a french dip sandwich with turkey meat, but still give me the beef juice to dip it in. anyways, it is healthier, easy, and yumtastic so if you want to live a life as exciting as mine, give this recipe a try.

don't forget to salt.

i am making a Moroccan inspired chicken stew tonight. if you are lucky, i will forget to take pictures.