PeppersMS.

i think i have seasonal mercury in retrograde affective disorder. granted, it is summer and mercury is not in retrograde. but i am tired and forgetful and everything i say gets taken the wrong way and my peppers won't grow. the peppers are how i know it is not a PMS thing but rather more of a universal malfunction thing. maybe i have PeppersMS. get it? be nice....it is hard to be funny when you have PeppersMS.

Squirrels. mother effing squirrels. remember last year when i thought their pumpkin eating was so cute? well now they have just gone diabolical. i have sunflowers. the sunflowers i have are not your wimpy "i love cherry tomatoes!" kind of sunflowers that don't actually have any seeds (um,or character?). they are mammoth "mortgage lifter tomato" kind of sunflowers that tower above me and promise flowers the size of dinner plates and plenty of seeds for birds and squirrels to snack on....In The Fall. that would be if the squirrels were not gnawing through the stems and lopping off the tops right now this summer.

Glorious regal sunflowers:
sad victim:
what the squirrels don't get is that i want to help them! they can have the seeds! they just need to let them grow first. dummies.

i think i am supposed to be harvesting my strawberries soon or something? does this look like a harvest?

cos that is all i got.
on the brighter side, we have new snacks!

ichiban eggplant tastes really good, people! i have never had much success with or love for the eggplants. but these guys are yumtastic.
we (Neil) built a leaning trellis for the lemon cucumbers once they finally started growing. the plan is that the vine travels up but the fruit falls through the trellis for easy pickens.


here you can see a dude following directions:

i have a question for you....are green beans supposed to grow like curly little turds?



i have another question for you. how many squashes would one need to eat a day for it to become an unhealthy way of living? i grate them into salads, sneak them into stews, use them instead of noodles, and try to pawn them off at pool parties for 6 year olds. i think i only unloaded a few that way, but i was desperate. and they fit so nicely into the sparkly party favor bags!

a few folks who have visited the garden have questioned how the brussels sprouts actually grow. and i get it. you want them to grow like broccoli or cabbage...a big head right in the center.

what they actually do is grow like little knobs along the stalk of the plant. see little baby brussles here:


Well folks, i am sure you are thinking "why is she bothering with all of these other trivial garden items when there are tomatoes on the line?" i know, right!?!

well, lookey here. the best thing is that the basil is all a bushy 3 feet tall and neil has finally come to appreciate the Caprese Flavor Profile so.....

it. is. on.



overview of the vaguely controled chaos:




faulty carrots: The guinea pigs don't care, though. also, this really is the basket i harvest with. sometimes i forget to bring it out back and neil says "don't forget your harvest basket!" and i stop and wonder "who the hell are we? i have a harvesting basket and neil reminds me when i forget it? really?" that must be the secret to our two years of marriage.


so i am trying to figure out what i will do for cool season crop. more swiss chard because that crap cooks down and i can eat a LOT of chard. collard greens? are they cool season crops? i love them. some cabbage maybe? broccoli? suggestions are welcome and appreciated.