why youtube was invented

maybe you thought it was so that americans would have unlimited access to videos of guys getting kicked in the balls or falling off trampolines, but really it is so more people would be able to watch videos such as this:

a little insight to the complexities of zoo management

here are the facts:

-unlike most dogs who feel safest in a small enclosed area, Moose chooses to have access to the entire property. if we limit him to the inside area of our property, he protests by chewing up our books when we leave the house.
-unlike some recent VP picks, we like books.
-if we leave the back door open for him, he doesn't chew up books.
-matilda will only laze outside if she knows she can get back in at her leisure. if i close the backdoor, she panics and scratches to get back in. if i leave the door open, she naps on the deck. she likes sunshine on her face.
-we can't leave the back door open for either dog in the dead of winter. it gets cold here, dudes.
-we bought a dog door that locks. yay!

~~~~dog problem solved? i think not! enter cat problems~~~~

-gertie can not g0 outside and is smart enough to go through a dog door. boo.
-gertie sneaks out through the regular door anyways. sometimes at night. dog door or no, at some point i will have to release her from her hospital room/prison/my office. at that point, it will be virtually impossible to keep her in, unless i were to relock her in the office each time we were to let the dogs out. this seems a wee bit redonk to me.

~~~~soooooo.......~~~~
we are looking into some kind of cat fencing. our 6 foot privacy fence just isn't enough to keep gertie on the property when she gets better. the cat fencing goes on top of our current fence. it's basically netting that is angled in. supposedly, cats won't climb over it. they'd better not. it's not cheap. but this way, we can install the dog door (the back door is open right now and it's about 40 degrees out. awesome), the dogs can have free reign, we'll be able to read our remaining books, and the cats can go out but will be forced to stay on our property that is properly protected by the dogs! jules and midge just sunbathe on the deck anyways. it really is gertie who is the problem child.

so last and final update on the above mentioned problem child. she got her 20 or so stitches removed this morning. yay! the vet says she is most likely pain free at this point, so we can stop giving her the crack. unfortunately this means that she will not be so content in her room, so the above plan will need to happen sooner rather than later. she also saw a neurologist today. looks like her femoral nerve was chomped through. it may or may not repair itself and there isn't anything that can be done to help it. so gerts might be a bit gimps from here on out (see wobbles video below). we won't know for another 1 to 3 months. way to keep it vague, vet dude. but as long as she is pain free and acting like a cat, i am thrilled.

now here is the ironic thing...if her nerve doesn't repair itself, that would keep her on the property. she can't really jump. but only a really evil and selfish person would hope for that. so cat fence it is, folks. looks like installing the flooring downstairs is getting postponed once again...i sleep on plywood! yay!

WTF?

When i woke up this morning, i raced to my computer to make sure it was all still true. the two previous elections made me something of a cynic. i expected to hear the sound of the other shoe dropping. and i did. it's just that it wasn't the shoe i expected and it was all the way in california.

people. are you kidding me? while the nation celebrates progress and diversity, California sucked it big time and passed prop 8, a ban on gay marriage. if i was a person with normal blood pressure, i would say that i am disappointed. but i am not so i will say that i am fucking outraged.

did you hear the boos during mccain's concession speech last night? his supporters booed every time obama's name was mentioned. when you run a campaign based on divisiveness and hate, people get confused when you support the "terrorist" as your president. nice speech, mccain. maybe if you took the high road during your campaign instead of after, you'd be president elect right now.

and while i am at it, since i am sitting here fuming already, a large portion of mccain's speech seemed to imply that obama won because he is black. that is the same backwards logic that got him to invite the lovely ovary-having palin onto his ticket(she got a few boos herself last night). i would like to announce to mccain that there are other body parts besides skin and reproductive organs. i have a heart and i have a brain. so does the rest of the country. we've all got the same guts. and THAT is why you are not our president elect.

so equality and progress for everyone in America, unless you are gay. just when i, we, thought bigotry was getting the finger, it rears its ugly head in my home state. hate and fear....hate and fear. shame on you, 52% of California voters. shame on you.

i cried tears of joy last night. this morning, neil and i talked about how our kids will never know that they can't run for president....well, unless they are gay. screw you, 52% of california voters. you are totally killing my buzz.

peace out.

no good very bad day

and i got to sit by the window. okay, that joke only makes sense if you remember the kids book about someone's no good very bad day. there is a character named Becky who got to sit by the window on the way to school and this, along with many other terrible things, ruined the main character's day. i do that. i ruin days.

for instance! gertie's meds were pre-dosed. i had a weeks worth of syringes filled with the perfect dose of her morphine. i noticed yesterday that the remaining ones were looking less full. maybe it's some kind of denver desert no moisture air evaporation thing. so today, Gertie was awake. AWAKE all day. i went to pet her and she had some kind of reaction that i can only describe as very seizure looking-ish. what's worse is that it probably wasn't a seizure. it was more likey just a very acute pain reaction. ugh. poor kittykat. so tomorrow morning we go off for a check up and more feline morphine. her range of motion in her back end hasn't improved. but she *is* managing quite well. except for when i pet her and she goes into a fit of all-encompassing pain. um, sorry?

Moose seems to be living in some alternate universe where nothing can go wrong and doormats are dog toys. god love him.

a short video of the wobbles

here is a video documenting gertie's awesome wobbles. normally she has her e-collar on but i take it off when i am with her so that she may remember me as the torture device remover/food bringer instead of the torture device applier/medication forcer. note her position at the end of the video. this translates to "let me the eff out of here, warden lady".
and please excuse the state of the room. it was in mid-remodel until a barrage of beloved house guests and a kitty emergency happened. but anyways, in case you are wondering. yes, the walls will be orange because it will be my office and i like orange. and yes, the walls used to be red under the trim. it's a thin line with wall colors, but that red is too too much. srsly.

Let's go, Buffalo *clap. clap. clap clap clap*

Dudes. Hockey games are fun. Or maybe it is just that anything is fun when you get enough guys from Buffalo together. It's a strange phenomena that leaves my throat scratchy and my stomach sore from all of the laughing. and after the adventures of gertie, lord knows i could use some laughter.

it was also a very educational weekend. did you know that there are lizard people that enslave and/or eat humans in a 6 story bunker under Denver International Airport? it has something to do with the Mayan Calendar ending in 2012. Denver will become the new US capital and/or New World Capital. Also, the murals in DIA predict a very grim future, and it is all proved true by a part of the mural that depicts the twin towers burning. And this may or may not have something to do with the number 23 and/or the freemasons.

What i find most interesting about the above paragraph is that, with the exception of the lizard people thing and the predictive murals, i could pretty much buy the rest of it. and as much as i recognize the fact that upon reading this, one might decide i am a crazy person, i am not willing to rule out the possibilities of such planning and scheming and building. weirder things have happened. and if you don't believe me, please explain how W ended up being the American President for 2 full terms.

and while i am at it....i also believe in the possibility of bigfoot. if we overlooked 100,000 gorillas in africa for this long, then who is to say that there isn't some kind of North American gorilla that we haven't stumbled across yet? and seriously, if you were bigfoot, wouldn't you do your best to go undetected by humans? have you seen E.T.? Scientists bad!

i am just saying.

we went to an Obama rally but couldn't see a thing....well, except for the other 100,000 people there. To be in a sea of Obama supporters is a powerful thing. It felt good. i think it is that whole "hope" thing. it works for me.

here is something i am not feeling terribly hopeful about: Gertie, who is as high as a kite, wearing an e-collar, and essentially just broken, snuck out of her recovery room the other day. i am the presumabely smarter human who has nothing on her mind other than not letting gertie out and yet she still wins. she actually made it through 2 rooms before i caught her, too. she can hobble incredibly fast. i have no idea how we are going to be able to keep her inside. no idea.

maybe i need to hire some lizard people to work as gertie guards. i have not yet met a human slave who has escaped the DIA bunker. Those lizard people must be much better at this than i am. help.