Twilight

so, i have decided to use this format to confess to all that i am reading the book Twilight. You would think that the costco price tag would have discouraged me. Not for the actual price of the book, mind you. but for the genre labeling it provided as well. i am 36 and i am reading a piece of "young adult fiction". oh, and i am totally loving it.

some folks, like my lovely husband, think i am just into teenage vampire crap. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is, by far, my most favorite tv show of all time. but it's not teenage vampire crap that i love so much. it is how teenage vampire crap does such a much better job of explaining the complexities and heaviness of life when normal life crap (aka "adult fiction") just does not suffice at times.

last year, i revisited high school. or rather, i went to beauty school. but it was so much like high school. so much. there were the popular girls, who were actually just total coked up bitches, running around in the shortest skirts possible and ugg boots. there were gay boys that the girls fawned all over. there were quiet "misfits" with piercings and tattoos who were actually not misfitty at all. and there was an old broad. wait. there weren't old broads in real high school. but in this fake high school, i was there and i was old, comparatively.

in time, i caved to the masses. i joined myspace and myfriended all of my classmates. since most of my teachers were 10 years younger than me, i myfriended them as well. surreal, i say. now, everyone young and old is on facebook so i don't feel like such a fraud on that particular social networking site. but myspace, it is still quite centered to a certain demographic that i am no longer a part of. because life happens, i forgot about my myspace account for an extended period of time.

a few days after the election, i was basking in the glory of all of my facebook peeps posting about progress and the like. yes! these are my internet people and we are a part of an internet community. we agree! yay us! i remembered myspace existed and went to go see if my myfriends were as awesome as my facebookfriends. there is quite a bit of crossover, so i wasn't expecting anything but more of the same. but the first status update i saw, accessorized with a sad face emoticon was this.....and i quote....in spelling as well as words...."i am so bummed obama is are president".

so i deleted her....but not just because of her presidential choice. i deleted her because of her spelling. i deleted her because in beauty/high school, she said that a woman shouldn't be president because they are too emotional. she also once said that she hated whales. i couldn't make that shit up. she hates whales.

back to facebook, thank you very much. i still feel like kind of a dork for participating, but i like it. so there. and back to Twilight because apparently i like teenage vampire crap, too.

you can't relate to a book about a moron who can't spell and who thinks her own vagina makes her incapable of great promise and who also hates whales. you just can't. you relate to vampires. vampires make more sense. and are a lot less scary.


oh, and i looooooove whales.