at this point, neil might suspect me of having a little thing goin' on with santa

seriously. it's like santa is my new BFF. i have proof:

you know what that is? it's a mother effing christmas tree. it's a beacon in our window, declaring our love for the big fat man in the red suit.

i also went to a cookie exchange with a bunch of catholic school teachers. man, can they put down some wine at 2pm on a sunday!

i did an ornament exchange, also. but this was just with some awesome ladies who can also put down quite a bit of wine. it was a dinner though, so it's not so scandalous.

i bought presents. i wrapped them. i even bought little sparkly gift tags. they will be shipped tomorrow cos they can't arrive late! it's christmas, people! get to it!

neil's sister will be coming over on x-mas day. i got a ham.

i even got a holiday tunes CD. it kind of sucks.

so my point is that i have realized my way around this christmas hell. it is for folks who eat, drink, shop, and like sparkly things. people knock valentines for being a holiday "invented by hallmark", but at least everyone's cards are on the table (ooh! pun!) for that one. christmas is supposed to be about the birth of christ. for those who believe, this should be a very large deal. but somehow it has been turned into a blow-up plastic santa lawn ornament competition for the masses. and these are the masses that believe! i declare that i will no longer see what Target calls christmas. i will make my own. and i will try to get neil to let us name our first born son "linus", as linus seems to be the only one that gets it. and he's a 5 year old cartoon character. sheesh. so on to more food, booze, and sparkles for me, i guess.......

part 2: rememer my shock at 15? try 1.....

and that was at the warmest time of the day. last time i checked, it was -9. minus 9 Fahrenheit which is 41 degrees colder than freezing. i am seriously considering converting to Celsius (just on an emotional level because i can't figure out how to reprogram our various thermometers). it's such a kick in the balls to hit zero and have nothing to show for it other than "now it is just really a lot more colder than before when it was really a lot cold and freezing already".

some of us are having a harder time adjusting than others. every time i step outside, the cold causes my throat and lungs to sieze up. it takes a bit of getting used to, is all i am saying.

and the dogs keep coming down with "snow toes". they haven't learned that this kind of cold necessitates their visits outside to be incredibly efficient. they dilly dally around and then inevitably have what i would call a "WTF" moment when their little toes are just too cold, too fast. they try to walk without the use of their feet. they don't know that this isn't possible. it's so pathetic that i can't even laugh like the heartless christmas hating biotch i am. poor pups....

merry christmas to all..... just 11 more days until the Best Day Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!