Denver votes "no" on iceberg lettuce

but it votes "yes" on doing everything but dousing your home in gasoline and throwing a match on it for good luck on the 4th of July.

so the lettuce thing: i have yet to find a side salad that has one single piece of iceberg lettuce. whether i am at an actual restaurant, a brewery, or ordering a pizza at home; spring mix it is! it's The Tan and Skinnies....they rule here. They ride their bikes when it is 90 degrees and they take their dogs to the coffee shops and they like pecans and cranberries in their salads. in turn, i am forced to kind of love The Tan and Skinnies. and i thank them for their lettuce-y preferences.

you know, San Francisco totes itself as something of a food mecca. but i am realizing that this only applies to a certain class of folk. to clarify, if you go to the actual restaurant called Mecca, it's organic applewood smoked heirloom loveliness. but if you are looking to get out for under $40 a pop, it's hello lard soaked iceberg e-coli mojado hot dogs a few blocks down.

Here, you can get out for under $20, easy.... hello, Denver Tan and Skinnies. I like your foods here and i plan to eat them at your incredibly affordable prices for as long as i can.

so, 4th of July. who cares? apparently, every f-ing pyro within sates limits. Denver is hot. Denver is dry. it's been in the 90's for at least a week with no dreamy T-storms to counter it. There's been the steady "pop pop" of firecrackers going all week. Late Thursday night, our "babies having babies neighbors" that live two doors down pushed their young wheelchair ridden child out into the street with their other two toddlers. Beers in hand, they lit off something that i can only call "an explosive". i turned 85 years old instantly and was livid at so many aspects of the situation. i promised myself and neil that i would only call the cops if they did it again. they didn't. apparently, once you lose your hearing from one explosion, you don't need to blow anything else up.


so for the actual holiday, we went to J and Noelle's for a bbq. it was in the high 90's. we hid under a tent and had a kiddy pool that was just for adult feet. we had a grill-off and my shrimp were pretty rad. we played Catch Phrase. Some people just aren't made for Catch Phrase.

Then the fireworks came....you know how when your teenage neighbors set off fireworks, you kind of mock them internally because the actual firework is so lame compared to the good professional stuff? well have your teenagers talk to these teenagers because the crap we saw going off last night from peoples' yards was insane. not safe. really pretty. lock your dogs up and good luck with that sleeping you planned on doing.

cut to 2am. fireworks right outside our window. still at least 90 degrees in the house. dogs barking. me bitching. neil slumbering away. oh he is so lucky i love him so much. so are the dogs. so is denver.

so still with the steady "pop pop" of firecrackers. but i haven't actually ducked for cover tonight so we are clearly off to a good start. i am exhausted, to put it mildly. and i am kind of scared for what christmas will bring. exploding elves? flaming santa hats? we'll see.